“If your partner receives this text, their mind is going to start wandering in all the right directions,” Trombetti says. "What would you do if you were with me right now?” Get ready to share your fantasy and encourage them to do the same. Trombetti says this one ticks all the sexting boxes: It’s flirty, it shows your intentions, and it sets them up to respond, which is exactly what you want when initiating sexting. "Do you want to try something new in bed tonight )” Follow up with “I want you to make me feel like that again,” and you’ll be off to the races. This gives them a nice image to meditate on until you can meet again. "I just touched myself while thinking about last night.” “Getting specific is flirty and clear in your intentions.” Also, there’s something about the wording here that reads like a steamy romance novel - in a totally good way. “Maybe it is their lips, hands, legs, etc.,” Trombetti says. To do one better, describe in detail what you miss about them. Even if you don’t hook up IRL, it could lead to a fun night of sexting. Know someone who would like to know how much they’re missed? Be bold and send this flirty message their way. "It’s been too long since we’ve hooked up )" Tell them you just slipped into a bathing suit, reclined onto your bed, or stepped out of the shower, and just like that you’ll have inserted a sexy image into their mind. “The best flirty questions to ask via text usually provide a visual,” Amber Kelleher-Andrews, a relationship expert and CEO of the matchmaking site Kelleher International, tells Bustle. “I just got back from the gym and I’m about to hop in the shower. That way you’ll know you have their full attention and that they’re equally ready to sext. “Hey, are you busy? Can I tell you about a fantasy I’ve been thinking about recently?”Īs relationship expert Sophie Mona Pagès tells Bustle, you could also say something like this to check their mood for a spicy convo. It’ll help you test the waters to see if they’re on board before your start sending a bunch of risqué texts their way. Whether you’re sexting with a potential hookup, or want to get a longer-term partner in the mood, go ahead and start off with this message. "I’ve been thinking dirty thoughts about you. If you need some inspiration, read on below for a few tips on how to start sexting. The more you allow yourself to let go and enjoy, the hotter your sexting conversation will be. So above everything else, remember to have fun. “Mindset in this is everything since you will have to be using your imagination a bit,” Trombetti says. If you’re not sure, try asking if sexting is something they’d be into before thrusting it on them (no pun intended). Be sure to read the situation as best as you can to see if they're in the mood and available for it. "You don't want to initiate only to find out that they're not in the right headspace for it - that could be a big turn-off," Neal says. From there, you can volley back and forth knowing the messages are being well-received. By making sure they’re fully on board it’ll take the edge off. And it’s best to start with a pre-sexting consent text, especially if the other person is new to your life. This should go without saying, but you should only send these kinds of messages to someone you have an established relationship with and know would enjoy them. "Perhaps they'll be willing to take the lead, to reassure you of how attractive you are, or they might have some naughty ideas and inspiration that you can run with," Neal says. If that's a concern for you, be honest and let your partner know. For instance, some people get nervous about sexting because they don't know what to say. Neal, MPH, clinical sexologist and sexpert for Royal. It helps to have an open conversation, too, says Caitlin V. What if the other person isn’t in the mood? What if they don’t say anything back? Not only is there a lot of pressure to say the “right” thing, but it’s also tough to be the one to kick things off. “Sexting can be awkward,” Susan Trombetti, a matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking, tells Bustle. If you can’t figure out how to start sexting it’s probably because your nerves are getting in the way. Anticipation is hot, after all! But when it comes time to think up sexting lines, it’s so easy to get tongue-tied - or, rather, finger-tied. In fact, sometimes it feels like half the thrill of a hookup is all the flirting that happens beforehand.
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